it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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