I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just forgot I was standing up.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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