when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
