So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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