Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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