I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
