He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You need a sexual gate keeper
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
