Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
