I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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