Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
