...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
