Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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