I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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