oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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