Welp...herpes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
