i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
