Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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