There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I see more hoeing in ur future
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize