how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
