she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
