Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
