I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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