i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
