Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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