he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize