If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
