please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
