i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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