turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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