No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
