I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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