is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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