can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
