Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize