im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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