i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize