i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
