Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
