It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
