haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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