I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
