If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
