it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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