do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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