butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
