I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
pray to the hookup gods
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
