I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
