3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
