Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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