We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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