you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize