Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
