Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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