woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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