I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he shaved USA in his pubs
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
