Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
