if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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