Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
