Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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