there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
